my bloghead 12- the body's 'special effects'
We usually equate special effects as being used in film and sound. You know, the exploding truck or someone morphing from a human to alien in an action movie but, the more I gave it some thought, people who suffer from any form of cancer will experience similar 'side (special) effects' (the human to alien metaphor sound familiar?).This can be caused by both the cancer having an impact on the internal body's system and/or the medication/treatment used to counter the cancer.
Now I use the word 'special' loosely and do not intend to use this word to glorify the impact side effects have on us but I do feel that when we have cancer our bodies and the medical profession use their very own special effects to fight the cancer. I am thinking of that space age room where the futuristic MRI scan machine with its Doctor Who like nurses prepare you to slide into a donut shaped tunnel as if you were about to be transported into a new time zone. The bangs and clangs of the machine firing magnetic beams into your body producing magical internal images of my insides. But. And there's always a but. Wonderful as this technology is, I don't know about you, I fear this session more than anything. I never thought that I suffered from claustrophobia until they wheeled me into that tunnel. No headphones or panic buttons can mask our bodies reaction to this. But, as I kept reminding myself. It saves lives. So, remarkably, we tend to find those special effects never used before to deal with that fear.
Here's my technology plug....Come on you innovative inventors, lets come up with a simpler technology.
I've been living with my cancer for over ten months now and in the beginning it made a profound effect on my lifestyle. I began to start imagining every wee pain, itch and squeek was caused by cancer. After a few months of soul searching and 'google' research I began to realise that I was still only human. I could catch a common cold or an upset stomach. I can still be fed up with things like politics. I can still take on lifes usual ups and downs and not blame the cancer. All I needed to do was tweak things a bit and accept cancer will have its moments, deal with it and move on. Easier said than done, I hear some say. Well yes. But we all have to find our own special effects recipe to cope or just give in!
Picture this...True story...here I am standing in a crowd in a music bowl called Ushuaia, Ibiza listening to the DJ take us through a variety of euphoric moods. Lights flickering and flashing, smoke and ice cannons exploding, then, the subtle, quiet rhythms take us down into a flower power trance and slowly build us up to this magical high with fireworks bursting and screaming in the midnight air, steamy sweat and smiley faces everywhere and then....thank you and goodnight everyone. Gig is over.
You start to come down as you walk out with a delirious crowd and slowly but surely begin to realise that the party is over and your body eventually reaches that anti climax stage and wish it could start all over again.. and again.. and again. But its too late. Your body's very own 'special effects' begin to change, energy levels drop as the beats disappear, the mind blowing stage effects no longer have that hypnotic impact on your mind and that feeling of being in that 'happy' place begins to evaporate and you start to adjust as a new reality kicks in. One minute you are up (euphoric stage), the next down (anti climax). Its how we deal with the slope downwards that is important. Those quiet, lonely times when you have too much time to think and the grey cloud hovers above. The secret is finding your own special effects to balance the euphoric with the anti. We have the tools. It is learning how to find and use them.
When you find it give yourself a wee pat on the back for not allowing the thought of cancer to take over and possess me.
I started hormone treatment for prostate cancer in January 2017. Started off with bicalutamide pills for a month and then monthly injections called Prostap. Unfortunately, the injections alone have not reduced my testosterone or PSa levels so I now take bicalutamide daily. I was warned that this treatment can have mild to serious physical side effects, depending on the individual, for example:
hot flushes- boy are they a loo loo and appear when you least expect it. For example. I was sitting in a cafe chatting away and whoosh! who opened the oven door? or at least it felt like that. Droplets of sweat appeared from nowhere and my face turned beetroot red. Embarrassing.
weakness/fatigue- a general lack of energy takes over even if you have not exerted yourself and all you can do is sit back and rest until it goes away. I found myself on a cross trainer in the gym one day and half way through my 30 minutes a severe hot flush appeared. I felt disorientated and had to leave. Embarrassing.
upset stomach- heartburn and bloating for me. Sometimes my trousers fit and I can sit down in comfort, other days it feels like someone has blown up a balloon in my midriff. Hate it.
loss of interest in sex- unclear if this is the medicine or the tumour? A very delicate discussion for most males. This issue is for another blog.
There are others symptoms and again it all depends on the individual.
The idea of this treatment is to reduce my PSA and testosterone by feeding me with oestrogen (the female hormone) eh? and starve the tumour of its daily diet of testosterone. If this works, in my case, they will offer radiotherapy as the next step.
Oops there goes another really hot flush....fortunately I am sitting alone in the room typing this blog. Time to stop.
Anyone reading this blog might think I have slipped into a crazy syfy world but I now look at the side effects as special effects. For me it is a more positive spin and makes it easier to work with. Since being diagnosed I now realise how important these special effects are for our survival. Basic Instincts that have always been there but in our modern way of living have become hidden and unused. Our bodies are special and if we did not have these so called special effects we would not be able to recognise, diagnose, react and treat our symptoms.
Live long and prosper!!!!